Golden Globes 2014: The winners list, plus the best of Tina and Amy!

“Live, from Beverly Hills, it’s the 71st Annual Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s Lee Daniels’ The Butler Golden Globe Awards!”
-The greatest hosts ever, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler…already proving their greatness with their first sentence.

The 71st Golden Globes aired on NBC last night (duh) and they did not disappoint. I think anyone can agree that the best part was Tina and Amy (and if you don’t agree you must be deaf) and we can look forward to their hilarious jokes next year too! Can next year come faster? So before I get to the winners let’s take a look at Tina and Amy’s top 5  jokes (in my opinion of course). Obviously it was extremely hard to narrow it down to just 5, since I think even them just saying they need to go to the bathroom would be hilarious, but I did it so read on! If you want to skip right to the winners (how dare you skip Tina and Amy’s jokes) then keep scrolling and you will find them!

5. Amy: “Matt Damon is here for Behind the Candelabra. Matt, on any other night in another room, you would be a big deal. But tonight, and don’t take this the wrong way, you’re basically a garbage person.”

4. Tina: “Matthew McConaughey is here. For his role in Dallas Buyers Club, he lost 45 pounds, or what actresses call ‘being in a movie.’”

3. Amy: The Wolf of Wall Street is a big nominee tonight. I really love the film, but some of it was too graphic. I mean, if I wanted to see Jonah Hill masturbate at a pool party, I’d go to one of Jonah Hill’s pool parties.”

2. Tina: “Gravity is nominated for best film. It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age.”

1. Tina: “And now, like a supermodel’s vagina, let’s all give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio.”

Honorable mention: Tina (about Amy after she won her Golden Globe): “I just want to say congratulations again to my friend Amy Poehler, I love you and there’s a special place in hell for you,” which was clearly an awesome dig at Taylor Swift because of what Taylor said last year.

Just to refresh your mind, last year Tina and Amy mocked Taylor’s love life and joked about her staying away from Michael J. Fox’s son, and Taylor went on to prove that she does not know how to take a joke. She told Vanity Fair, “You know, Katie Couric is one of my favorite people. Because she said to me she had heard a quote that she loved, that said, ‘There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women,’” when addressing the joke. Should we expect a song about this on Taylor’s next album?

Here’s Tina and Amy’s opening just in case you want to laugh all over again!

Well moving on to the most important part (besides Tina and Amy)…the winners!

Best Motion Picture, Drama
**12 Years a Slave**

Captain Phillips

Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama
**Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine**
Sandra Bullock, Gravity
Judi Dench, Philomena
Emma Thompson, Saving Mr. Banks
Kate Winslet, Labor Day

Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama
Chiwetel Ejiofor, 12 Years a Slave 
Idris Elba, Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
Tom Hanks, Captain Phillips
**Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club**
Robert Redford, All is Lost

Best Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical
**American Hustle**
Inside Llewyn Davis 
The Wolf of Wall Street

Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical
**Amy Adams, American Hustle**
Julie Delpy, Before Midnight
Greta Gerwig, Frances Ha
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Enough Said
Meryl Streep, August: Osage County

Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical
Christian Bale, American Hustle
Bruce Dern, Nebraska
**Leonardo DiCaprio, The Wolf of Wall Street**
Oscar Isaac, Inside Llewyn Davis
Joaquin Phoenix, Her

Best Animated Feature Film
The Croods
Despicable Me 2 

Best Foreign Language Film
Blue is the Warmest Color 
**The Great Beauty** 
The Hunt 
The Past 
The Wind Rises

Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture
Sally Hawkins, Blue Jasmine
**Jennifer Lawrence, American Hustle**
Lupita Nyong’o, 12 Years a Slave
Julia Roberts, August: Osage County
June Squibb, Nebraska

Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture
Barkhad Abdi, Captain Phillips
Daniel Brühl, Rush
Bradley Cooper, American Hustle
Michael Fassbender, 12 Years a Slave 
**Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club**

Best Director, Motion Picture
**Alfonso Cuaron, Gravity**
Paul Greengrass, Captain Phillips
Steve McQueen, 12 Years a Slave
Alexander Payne, Nebraska
David O. Russell, American Hustle

Best Screenplay, Motion Picture
**Spike Jonze, Her**
Bob Nelson, Nebraska
Jeff Pope and Steve Coogan, Philomena 
John Ridley, 12 Years a Slave
Eric Warren Singer and David O. Russell, American Hustle

Best Original Score, Motion Picture
**Alex Ebert, All is Lost**
Alex Heffes, Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
Steven Price, Gravity
John Williams, The Book Thief 
Hans Zimmer, 12 Years a Slave

Best Original Song, Motion Picture
“Atlas,” Hunger Games: Catching Fire
“Let It Go,” Frozen 
**”Ordinary Love,” Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom**
“Please Mr. Kennedy,” Inside Llewyn Davis 
“Sweeter Than Fiction,” One Chance

Best TV Series, Drama
**Breaking Bad**
Downton Abbey
The Good Wife 
House of Cards 
Masters of Sex

Best Actress in a TV Series, Drama
Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife 
Tatiana Maslany, Orphan Black
Taylor Schilling, Orange Is the New Black
Kerry Washington, Scandal 
**Robin Wright, House of Cards**

Best Actor in a TV Series, Drama
**Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad**
Liev Schreiber, Ray Donovan
Michael Sheen, Masters of Sex
Kevin Spacey, House of Cards
James Spader, The Blacklist

Best TV Series, Musical or Comedy
The Big Bang Theory 
**Brooklyn Nine-Nine**

Modern Family
Parks and Recreation

Best Actress in a TV Series, Musical or Comedy
Zooey Deschanel, New Girl
Lena Dunham, Girls 
Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep
**Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation**

Best Actor in a TV Series, Musical or Comedy
Jason Bateman, Arrested Development 
Don Cheadle, House of Lies
Michael J. Fox, The Michael J. Fox Show
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory
**Andy Samberg, Brooklyn Nine-Nine**

Best TV Movie or Miniseries
American Horror Story: Coven
**Behind the Candelabra**
Dancing on the Edge
Top of the Lake
White Queen

Best Actress in a Miniseries or TV Movie
Helena Bonham Carter, Burton and Taylor
Rebecca Ferguson, The White Queen
Jessica Lange, American Horror Story: Coven 
Helen Mirren, Phil Spector
**Elisabeth Moss, Top of the Lake**

Best Actor in a Miniseries or TV Movie
Matt Damon, Behind the Candelabra
**Michael Douglas, Behind the Candelabra**
Chiwetel Ejiofor, Dancing on the Edge
Idris Elba, Luther
Al Pacino, Phil Spector

Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Miniseries or TV Movie
**Jacqueline Bisset, Dancing on the Edge**
Janet McTeer, The White Queen
Hayden Panettiere, Nashville
Monica Potter, Parenthood
Sofia Vergara, Modern Family

Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Miniseries or TV Movie
Josh Charles, The Good Wife
Rob Lowe, Behind the Candelabra
Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad 
Corey Stoll, House of Cards
**Jon Voight, Ray Donovan**

Only a year until we get to experience the greatness of Tina and Amy again, the hits and misses of dresses, and the good, the bad, and the ugly (I’m looking at you, Jacqueline Bisset) of the acceptance speeches. 2015 needs to hurry up!


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