So right now as I write this Miranda Lambert is performing at the PNC Bank Arts Center in Holmdel and I am sitting at my dining room table. I don’t even think I need to say what the problem with this is…but I think I will anyway. I AM NOT THERE. WHY. WHY. WHY. Oh right, because I’m poor. Well as I sit here crying to myself I thought I’d write a post in honor of the greatest female country singer. Also so I can imagine myself standing on the lawn dancing and singing, while having drunk people fall on me and spill beer on me…I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M MISSING THAT. But I digress. Let’s get back to why Miranda is perfect.
We cannot forget how she won THREE ACM awards this year. I repeat, THREE. That’s the most out of anyone this year. One of these awards was Female Vocalist of the Year!
Her and Blake have the best marriage ever. Blake Shelton says things like, “She blows me away . . . I used to think I was a decent songwriter until I was hanging around with her and this is proof of it. Thank you so much baby, I love you.” Then Miranda says, “I didn’t know what to say about Song of the Year because my husband was about to make me bawl and I was trying to keep it together,” and that basically proves they’re perfect. That was what they said at the ACM awards this year by the way. They really are adorable together and I’m so happy they’ve said divorce is not an option for them. Blake and Miranda forever!
Another thing amazing about Miranda is that she is such a powerful woman. Now I’m not a feminist or anything but DAMN. She is not afraid to say what she wants and do what she wants. She is so strong and I think her song lyrics really prove that. If you don’t know what I’m talking about just take a look at these…
“At the baggage claim, you got a lot of luggage in your name
When you hit the ground, check the lost and found
Because it ain’t my problem now”
“Well I told you I was crazy.
No I ain’t no body’s baby.”
-Fastest Girl In Town
“I’m goin’ home, gonna load my shotgun
Wait by the door and light a cigarette
If he wants a fight well now he’s got one
And he ain’t seen me crazy yet
He slapped my face and he shook me like a rag doll
Don’t that sound like a real man
I’m going to show him what a little girls are made of
Gunpowder and lead”
-Gunpowder And Lead
To top it all off, Miranda Lambert is beautiful. She’s pretty much perfect.
Well there you have it…just a few reasons why Miranda Lambert is flawless and why I really wish I was at her concert right now. Oh and Dierks Bentley is performing there too, which is just another reason to hate myself for sitting in my house right now instead of being at the concert. Hopefully now it’s clear why I am so distraught over missing her concert. Now excuse me while I go cry myself to sleep.